WOW! (A response to “Types of B!#&$3”)
WOW! After reading “Types of Bitches” (you won’t see this word repeated here) from Jeff Simmermon’s blog, there was a bit of “soul-searching” to determine what “really just happened.” This is the most appropriate response that came to mind.
Popular culture has desensitized us to the point that “bad” no longer means “bad’ but now means “good” – and not as Run DMC intended, either. So let’s think about what “The List” means. Some espouse, “Oh don’t take it so seriously, it’s a child showing their creative side.” Others who say, “Accolades for such a display is mockery and despicable representation of people of color.” Ironically, the list is both.
Recalling my primary school days, earlier this week, I thought back to a time when the late husband (Mr. Walter Berry) of our babysitter picked us (me, my siblings and his 2 children) up from school and had to endure a child younger than the one who wrote this list, cussing him as if a pirate’s ship had docked. His son, my BFF at the time, did everything possible to get me to stop; but to no avail, as I was going to use every cuss word I’d heard and speak as “grown up” (i.e., disrespectful) as I wanted, at all cost. This was circa. 1973, at the age of 7 (give or take a year).
Was it creative? The “it” being the quasi-mastery and use of language I’d heard, but never fully understood? Probably, because it “sounded” good at the time. Was it despicable? Definitely! But neither of those issues mattered; especially once my parents received the news of what their oldest child had done. The action perpetrated upon Mr. Berry was a reflection of them – mom and dad – and neither was too pleased to hear of it. As a matter of fact, believe there’s a mark somewhere below my waist which proves just how unpleased my father was of the entire matter. WOW!
Unbeknownst to me, a child exploring the perceived “freedom of speech,” this was more a sign of no “home training,” as the ol’ folk used to say. It was a sign that my parents had not taught me any better – even though they had already done so – or how to “act in public.” It certainly was not an applauded behavior – not from anyone WE knew.
So how do we harness a child’s aptitude for knowing enough to create or display creativity through “things” which are inappropriate? From this vantage point, seems if the most probable course of action would have been a different response from the teacher. For her to actually use this as a teachable moment. If there was enough thought to create a “fax to PDF,” there was enough time to track down the responsible student(s) for a conversation. This was, of course, from a third grade class in a charter school, right? So identifying the student couldn’t have been too difficult. This was a teachable moment; the extra effort would have been worth it.
What parent, if handed such a list from their child, would’ve viewed it and chuckled at the “creative” prowess their child displayed? What parent would’ve praised and rewarded their child for documenting such obscenities? To suggest such and act as if “it’s all okay,” is a not just a moral disservice to everyone its also a mockery of our own parents, grandparents and so on.
This was a moment for the teacher to pass on a wonderful lesson of life – “Be today who you want to be tomorrow” (~ Ruth Clark). The teacher could have indicated the language was not representative of an assiduous person. Rather, it’s more representative of those who make excuses and blame others for their dreadful situations – and maybe provide some examples of the same. This is only one possible response, there are many, many others.
In a follow-up post Jeff surmised both sides rather well. While the levity of his conclusion brings about disagreement from this author, he’s on point with a few thoughts:
I’ve really been amazed at how seriously some folks took this thing. I used to test-drive cuss words when I was the same age. Most kids do. My best friend Eric Browne and I used to write them in the dirt on the playground with a stick and teach them to the other kids. We then created an illustrated dictionary of all the profanity we knew. We did leave the illustration for “motherfucker” blank, though. That one was tough. We didn’t really know what it meant in the larger scheme of things, just that it enhanced everything it touched.
As Jeff’s comment proves, most often children have no clue what they’re saying, they’re merely imitating someone else. From a child’s vantage point, something forbidden equals something “cool.”
As my youthful actions proved, the actions and words used on that day were not representative of the values instilled by my parents. At some point all children will “try something on for size,” but it is up to the adults to recognize such, and use it as a moment to bring the child into proper focus. Does this mean no children will cuss? No. Does it mean no children will run afoul of the law? No. However, failure to do so only serves to prolong a devilishly insatiable appetite for a pure, uncontaminated heart, mind and soul; and this is something we can’t and shouldn’t allow.
WOW!